


I Don't Have Time For Your Bullshit, Zote

by growingCataclysm



Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Speedrun Fic Adaptation, The Knight Is Not Hollow (Hollow Knight), The Knight is Called Ghost (Hollow Knight), the knight is a little shit, we STAN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29991027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growingCataclysm/pseuds/growingCataclysm
Summary: A drabble(?) based on Vysual's WR Dream No More Run. Warning: memes.
Kudos: 22





	I Don't Have Time For Your Bullshit, Zote

A little Ghost approaches a cliff. They'd been summoned by a silent scream of suffering; it brought with it a great tide of foresight. Their vision revealed to them a vast number of futures, enemies to fight, friends to meet, secrets to know, all branching out from the moment they fell into Hallownest's decaying corpse.

This knowledge filled the little Ghost with rage. They'd been living a content life out in the Wastes, how dare this kingdom abandon them for dead and then call them into its depths to fight its battles?! They were going to have to finish this quickly; they had a date to get to.

Fuming, they jumped down from the cliff into the bowels of King's Pass. Using their knowledge, they would get in, do what was needed, and get out. They were determined not to spare a single second more than necessary.

Ghost grabbed the cracked old nail from their back and immediately bashed the shit out of the nearest door, leaving trails of Tiktik and Vengefly corpses. The door to Hallownest crumbled easily before their nail, and they jumped into Dirtmouth. They didn't spare a second for Elderbug - Ghost had no time to swap pleasantries. They had gods to kill, damnit.

Down the well and to the left, they fell down two caverns, killing a few aspid hunters with no small amount of sadism. Goam were an annoyance, but a calculated one, and soon they jumped into the False Knight's arena.

Without wasting a second, they began slashing away at him, not even letting him finish throwing his little temper tantrum before staggering him again. They got the geo and ignored the City Crest, sliding over to the Ancestral Mound.

The Snail Shaman began to speak, but Ghost immediately cut them off, flailing their arms about in the air. The old mage muttered a complaint, but they were too busy getting knocked out by absorbing the spell to notice or care. The Shaman barely even got a minute's reprieve before the little Ghost was smacking away at their gate. The Elder Baldur was dead, and once again, they had no chance to speak before the tiny ball of condensed rage was barreling past them.

With barely a thought, they killed the Elder Baldur and jumped into Greenpath. A couple of Vengeful Spirits had them up and following Hornet, mercilessly cutting down Moss Chargers as they chased after Hallownest's protector. (The Moss Knight was of no consequence as usual, and neither was the Vengefly King. They didn't bother checking to see if Zote was okay before running into Hornet's arena.)

Hallownest's protector was determined in her mission, but the little Knight had spite on their side. Before she could even finish talking, they launched a volley of Vengeful Spirits directly into her face. They quickly followed up with their nail, not giving Hornet even a second to breathe. Staggered once, twice, three times, and then they were committing minor grave robbery and continuing on their way.

Back through the Forgotten Crossroads, they opened up the Stag Station and then went right onward to the Gruz Mother. It took her a painfully long time to send out her spawn, but a Vengeful Spirit quickly dealt with them.

They dashed upwards and into Salubra's hut. The slug(?) attempted to make conversation, but the little Ghost simply slammed a hefty amount of geo onto the table, signing two words with efficient, quick hands.

_'Shaman Stone.'_

They spent barely a second on the bench, their butt grazing the metal surface, before they were speeding off again. They ran into Sly's house and shook him awake, leaving before the greedy shopkeeper could say a word.

Then they ran into a husk and died, but this was all according to keikaku.

They slammed their nail into their own Shade's head and fired off several Spirits, jumping up into the Resting Grounds. They barely allowed their feet to touch the Blue Lake (Ew, corpse water), dashing rapidly across it to meet the Dreamers.

They tried to argue amongst themselves, but Ghost cut them all off with a middle finger directly to the face (Lurien's enraged screech filled them with renewed vigor. They would kill him first.). A few seconds were wasted when they fell into the clouds, but generally, they didn't spare much time for the dream realm. They snatched up the Dream Nail from the ground and darted out of Seer's house before she'd even realized they were awake.

_Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!_ Back to the Forgotten Crossroads, back to the Goam. Had they ever picked up the City Crest? Well, they were going into the Fungal Wastes regardless. They darted past the sentient mushrooms (really, what the fuck), and dream-nailed Elder Hu. Dreams are far less annoying when they are reduced to Essence and subsumed into your very being.

(Ow, spores.)

Down the Fungal Core and into the Mantis Village, they grabbed the Claw and passed the fuck out. Not today, angry sticks.

When they woke up, they were back in the Resting Grounds. Xero survived about three Vengeful Spirits directly to his fluffy face before going down. More blatant disrespect for the dead just meant more essence for them!

  
  


_Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!_ Move, elevator! They had nobles to mug. They opened the King's Station and hopped over some spikes, grabbing a Hallownest Seal and passing out again.

They went directly to the Seer, interrupting her fanciful old woman ramblings with their frantic arm-waving. How annoying, to be born without a voice. A Hallownest Seal was retrieved, the Spirit's Glade was opened. They contained their genocidal urges, grabbing a King's Idol and passing out once more. Was it really worth the precious seconds lost?

Regardless, the old Stag took them out into Dirtmouth. They ignored Elderbug and _especially_ Zote, grabbing the Wanderer's Journal from the well and hightailing it the fuck out of there back to King's Station. Nobles were always so very satisfying to beat the shit out of, especially shiny ones. They loved Geo so so much.

They threw all of their relics on Lemm's table, ignoring his enraged screech at their mistreating the ancient objects.

_'Geo.'_ They signed, snatching the offered currency and promptly passing out on his floor. They woke up in Dirtmouth, threw some of said currency on Sly's table, and ran out with a little Lumafly lantern. 

They took the stags back to the Crossroads, paying the toll and dashing into Crystal Peak. Horrible, detestable Crystal Peak. Ghost sped through the eerie caverns and ran directly into several lasers, cursing the lost time as they looted yet another corpse. Really, they'd never understand why this place had so many _fucking_ lasers. They yanked the Crystal Heart out of the Mining Golem's body (it wasn't using it anyways), and passed out once more.

(Whoever kept taking them back to the benches was the real God of this place.)

They grabbed the Ornate Key from Sly, who was by now used to the little Ghost's antics _. 'Straight and to the point: Geo. I can respect that.'_ The former Nailsage chuckled heartily. What an odd customer.

Practically bursting at the seams with uncontained energy, Ghost crystal dashed out of the King's Station. The Soul Warrior was past due for a beating, and they were here to fucking collect. Cornifer's humming provided a nice contrast to his pained screams. Shade Soul acquired, back up to the Watcher's Spire. The Soul Warrior wasn't the only one getting his ass beat today!

One Watcher Knight was felled by a few quick hits to a chandelier, and the rest quickly fell to an above-average amount of Shade Souls. They fucking loved magic.

They entered the Watcher's dream and quickly crystal dashed over the platforms. Lurien wasn't even able to fully manifest before Ghost was tearing his very soul apart. One mask broken, two to go. (They would spit on his grave if they had a mouth with which to do so.)

They fell down through the Waterways and to the Ancient Basin, giving the husks no mind nor the fee for the bench. The Cain Instinct had firmly gripped them, and the Broken Vessel was about to gain a mouth in the form of another hole in their head. Shade Soul, Shade Soul, dream nail, Shade Soul, Shade Soul, Shade Soul…

Several beatings and a healthy handful of Essence later, they had the Monarch Wings firmly secured to their back. One quick trick to dreamland later had them off to the Hidden Station, and then off to the (now Infected) Crossroads. They narrowly avoided getting blown up, and then slapped the Failed Champion out of his stolen armor (nearly dying in the process). They absorbed him and passed out, taking the Stag back to the Resting Grounds.

Ghost darted up to the Seer's little cubby and shoved the Dream Nail into her face, rooting through her cupboards to retrieve a Pale Ore, the Dream Wielder, and a Vessel Fragment. Did the people of Hallownest never shut up? They were on a mission here! They didn't bother to listen to Seer's attempts to teach them hoe to use the Dreamgate, they already knew how to work. They set one at King's Station, and then hauled ass through sewer gunk to Kingdom's Edge.

(Ow, acid.)

Hornet's ass was spidery grass. She was clearly trying to be dramatic, with the wind and everything, but nobody can be dramatic when they are in the process of getting several Shade Souls slammed into their face. They ran past her and into the damned worm's corpse, gladly taking the King's Brand carved into its egg.

(Thankfully, Hornet didn't try to monologue this time.)

The Dreamgate returned them to the stag stations (No, I meant to go to the Hidden Station!), and then they jumped down into the Ancient Basin. The Abyss opened before them, and Ghost prepared to smack the shit out of some siblings. Their nail ended up knocking the lighthouse keeper's corpse across the room in their haste to light it. The Shade Cloak was retrieved and they dreamgated back to King's Station and back into Kingdom's Edge. Dreamshields, it turns out, are weak to Shade Souls.

They jumped back into King's Pass, filled to the brim with Essence and prepared to get even more. Gorb died pitifully quickly, his Great Mind amounting to nothing. Back in Dirtmouth, they sped past Tiso and down into the Crossroads (Gruzzers. Terrible, terrible Gruzzers.)

A quick dash took them down into Fog Canyon, and they set a Dreamgate at the Archives. They'd lost several seconds already, they had no time for dallying! Thankfully, Shade Souls can pass through walls, and the Uumuu gracefully died. 

Quirrel unlocked the Teacher's dream and they jumped into it, tearing her apart without a hint of mercy. Herrah's mask was the only one left, now, and they were practically vibrating with excitement. They set a Dreamgate in Fog Canyon and jumped back up into Greenpath. No Eyes was gonna get her child-murdering creepy ass handed to her.

They hated her weird singing, and took her down much faster than normal. A quick Dreamgate had them cheating their way onto Queen's Gardens, leaving trails of mantis corpses in their wake. One fun game of volleyball later, they faced down the Traitor Lord.

They drew their nail in challenge, hellbent on saving time, looking so small beneath his towering form. The Traitor Lord roared, the battle was beginning, and…!

Ghost leapt forward and filled his face full of Soul. They found him to be much less intimidating when he was dead.

The White Lady had been enjoying her exile as much as she could, humming away to fill the silence. Suddenly, a little shadow flew through in a gust of wind, took her White Fragment, and passed out. How… odd.

Ghost dropped down into Deepnest, resisting the urge to stop and bob their head to the beat. They had a ghost to consume, damnit! Several Shade Souls and one nail hit later, they were speeding into the Distant Village. They didn't bother waiting for the odd corpses to take them, instead jumping up the wall to a hidden passage. Herrah fell easily, her mask shattering with a deafening screech.

Ring, ring! It's me, bitch. Ghost flew off to the Resting Grounds, darting across graves to grab the precious few Essence they still needed. They took Seer's Mask Shard and nearly screamed as she took her sweet time awakening the Dream Nail.

Soon enough, they were back in the Palace Grounds and prepared to commit more grave robbery. Sawblade fetish or not, the Abyss waited for no bug, and neither did they. After a truly infuriating amount of parkour (their sire was surely a sadist), they could finally whack away at his corpse and steal the White Fragment from it. They took pleasure in the sound of their signature spell connecting with his chitin. The Kingsoul was acquired, and they sat down at the bench, overcharming themself in their attempt to equip the Kingsoul. The world (and their surely angry partner) had no time for caution!

They dreamnailed the egg, furious at being forced to relive a memory they'd already remembered. They ascended the Abyss with fury in their feet, staring hatefully at the face of the Pale King. They fell, and became one with the void once more. Voidheart acquired, they passed out, and took the Stag to Dirtmouth. They were nearly done!

Their void hummed with excitement as the door to the Black Egg burst open with a screech. They charged a crystal dash and fired without a moment's hesitation. With frantic strikes they broke the Hollow Knight's chains, savouring the feel of their broken nail cutting into steel. They ignored how fucking creepy the fight was, charging up their dream nail.

"GIT GUD!"

The Little Ghost was ready to punch the fucking sun.

They fired Shade Soul after Shade Soul into the Radiance's delightfully fluffy form, cutting deep into her. The void tried to take her, but they already knew it would fail. They charged their Soul for casting and blasted it right into her stupid shiny face.

Joined by their siblings, they ascended the platforms. They could practically taste their victory, they were vibrating with it, tingling! They drove their nail into the Old Light, their shell cracking in half as the Void rose up to consume her. Their sibling wrenched her open and they gleefully screeched their victory as they tore into her.

Again, again, again, again!

The Void curled around the Radiance and snuffed out her Light, ensuring that Hallownest would finally dream no more 

Thank fucking god. Good riddance.

* * *

"Oh, hey honey. Where were you?"

_'Suffering.'_


End file.
